Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
