Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
