Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she peed on how many people?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
