You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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