your thong is hanging out like whoa
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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