piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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