Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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