once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize