# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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