It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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