I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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