She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
