You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
