He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
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he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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