Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Verdict: uncircumcised.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
