There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
