oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I need moral support for this bender
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
