Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i now understand why vodka
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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