i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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