Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
