Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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