South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
