Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
