Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
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These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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