I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
3 2 1 whiskey
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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