first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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