bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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