That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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