its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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