I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
we're so committed to being not committed
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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