My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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