You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
