He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
