discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
did you just send me my own nude
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
