my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
