Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
