why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
