I'm pants shitting drunk right now
P.S. I can't hear my feet
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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