nutella sex= disaster
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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