I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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