normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
