Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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