Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
