Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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