What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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