First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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