this will be a night to untag.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
