Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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