Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
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Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
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N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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