Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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