I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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