The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
