we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
