Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
