I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
