1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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