At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
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Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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