Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
