I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
