You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
