a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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