she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
