Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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