ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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